My Midnight Sun
by Angels and Airwaves in Snow
Summary: My version of Twilight from Edward’s perspective.
1. 2 Open Book

Stephenie Meyer Owns Everything. I'm just a girl who loves her literary escapisms.

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Chapter 2: Open Book

My first day back at the high school was… anxiety filled. I was continually prepping myself. Preparing to meet my personal demon head on. The idea that a plain, weak, human girl could chase me away from my family was a shameful one. But it seemed silly now, now that I had been away from her for so long. I pulled into the parking lot, after having made sure that I was well fed. I didn't want to be hungry when she hit me with her irresistible scent. I spent my day concentrating on her. Both on my seemingly futile attempt to read her mind, and on what I was going to do, to say. I was going to nip this issue in the bud. I had to clean up what had happened the last time she saw me. Remove all trace of that monster from her memory.

I walked out the door of my classroom and turned to the cafeteria out of habit. A large ball of wet hit me square in the face.

_Dude! You're such an easy target!_ Emmett was laughing from about ten feet away, taking joy in my obvious distraction.

_That's right, keep focusing on Edward… _Jasper launched another snowball before Emmett knew what was happening.

"Could you guys try to act a _little _more your age?" Rosalie was standing a safe distance away from Emmett, compact mirror in hand.

Another one hit me from behind. I swirled around with a snowball of my own to see Alice standing in a crowd of people.

_Oh no you don't! _She defended when she saw me eyeing her. _That was Jazz, not me! _She ducked away and headed for the cafeteria. I searched the thoughts of the witnesses and quickly found the true culprit laughing with Emmett by a classroom. I tossed two of my own at them before ducking into the safety of the cafeteria myself. From their raging thoughts, I could tell I had hit my marks with precision.

They followed me to the lunch line to gather the food we wouldn't eat.

_You're lucky we're in public. _Emmett's mind growled. _Just wait till we get home… _He started strategizing his attacks. Rosalie and Alice were already at the table, but keeping their distance from us. Emmett was determined to get as much snow on Rosalie as possible, but she wouldn't have it.

Jessica Stanley's thoughts called out my name. Instinctually, I looked over. A pair of large brown eyes met mine for a second before she ducked and shook her hair into her face. Now that she had pulled my attention, she kept it. I was sure that there was some way to break through and hear her thoughts.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica was elated by this fact.

_Maybe if he's watching her, he'll see me. _She thought hopefully.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" Bella kept her eyes down.

"No, should he be?" _What did you this soon, ask him out or something? _Jessica wondered.

"I don't think he likes me," It would explain my atrocious appearance the last time she had seen me. She put her head down on her arm, concealing it from view further. I must have looked like the devil to her, because she smelled like heaven to me. A hot thirst was gripping my throat just thinking about her scent.

"The Cullens don't like anybody… well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you." _That's a plus? Right? I'd kill to have him look at me like that. _

I soon became disappointed. Jessica's thoughts were impeccably easy to hear, but nothing came from the brunette across the table from her. It was as if no one was there.

"Stop looking at him," Bella hissed. Jessica complied, and turned her head away from me with a smile. She was rationalizing in her mind that since I was looking in their direction, I would be forced to notice her.

Their conversation ended abruptly with Mike Newton making plans for a snowball fight after school. Bella kept her eyes on the table the whole time and hardly moved and inch. Through the whole conversation, I had gleaned nothing from her mind. It was like trying to talk to a photograph, just, nothing.

I was starting to have my doubts about whether or not I was so ready to come face to face with her again. I could feel her pull from across the room. The need to be close to her overwhelmed me. I reveled in the thought of how easy it would be to get her alone, I wanted to be closer to her neck, and to the blood flowing easily through it. Her skin looked so soft and delicate. It would only take a moment, and the scent would become a reality.

_You'll do fine. _Alice thought at me, having seen my efforts to get Bella alone in a vision. I gave her a skeptical look, pulling away from the sight of Bella's head on the table. _If I have any doubts, I'll send Emmett and Jasper after you. _She promised. I looked up at the clock and then down at my tray. Okay.

Eventually the bell rang and interrupted my attempt to read Bella's mind. If I was going to get into her head, I was going to have to do it the human way.

I had to time my entrance into the Biology room precisely. I wanted to make sure that she was safely in her seat before I came in. That way I wouldn't have to deal with the breeze created when she walked through the airstream from the vent.

I peeked in the room through the various minds of the students in the classroom. Bella was seated next to my empty seat, and Mr. Banner was walking around the room placing microscopes on each table. As I made my approach, I noted that Bella was drawing something on her notebook. I pushed my chair as far away as the table would allow before sitting in it. Her scent was more powerful than I remembered. I swallowed back venom as I prepared to speak to without pouncing on her.

"Hello," I did my best to sound friendly even as I thought of killing her. Her already wide eyes seemed to get larger as she looked me over. She didn't say anything. I was going to have to start.

"My name is Edward Cullen, I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week." I tried to sound friendly. "You must be Bella Swan."

She seemed confused by my speaking to her, and after my behavior, I couldn't blame her.

"H-how do you know my name?" she asked nervously

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive." The perk of being the daughter of the police chief, a police chief that would be unhappy if his daughter failed to return home from school. I reminded myself.

"No," she corrected "I meant, why did you call me Bella?" I had called her Bella because the thoughts of everyone around her called her Bella. She had already caught me, I had to come up with an answer for her fast.

"Do you prefer Isabella?" I asked quickly.

"No, I like Bella," she replied "But I think Charlie – I mean my dad – " she stuttered over what to call him. "must call me Isabella behind my back – that's what everyone here seems to know me as," she explained. I wondered briefly why she would use his first name rather than the term 'dad' that seemed to be standard.

"Oh." Was all I could think of to say. She looked away, stealing my only insight into her psyche.

I was ashamed of how crippled I was without my talent. I had never thought that I relied on it this much, but now that I didn't have it, I could see where I was wrong. Now that she was turned away, I couldn't even read her facial features.

Bella seemed relieved when Mr. Banner started class. We were doing a routine lab where we identified the phases of mitosis using onion root cells. It felt like I'd done this lab with every plant under the sun in my years of schooling.

At least it was a partner lab. I took solace in the fact that she was going to have to talk to me whether she wanted to or not.

"Ladies first, partner?" I asked, again in my most friendly, non-monster tone. She stared at me blankly.

"Or I could start, if you wish." I wondered if she had been paying attention to the directions and just didn't want to go first.

"No," rose filled her cheeks as blood flowed through her delicate neck to her face, venom filled my mouth again. "I'll go ahead."

She used the microscope with confidence. It didn't take me long to realize that she had no doubt done this lab before, if not as many times as I had.

"Prophase." She declared after looking into the lens for a moment. She started pulling the slide out when I stopped her. I knew that Mr. Banner was just looking for anything he could to mark me down in his class. It was vain and I knew it, but I wasn't going to let anything between me and my perfect grade in his class.

"Do you mind if I look?" I asked as I caught her hand and the slide. The warmth radiating from her hand was unmistakable, but something else had sparked. Like a shock from a door handle. She pulled her hand back instantly but it was too late, the thought of grabbing her came back. How easy it would be to sink my teeth into her delicate throat, so fast we wouldn't be noticed until it was over…

"I'm sorry," I muttered. I'm sorry I shocked you, I'm sorry have ungodly cold hands, I'm sorry I'm a monster, and most of all, I'm sorry I can't stop thinking about killing you.

It only took me a second of looking in the microscope to agree with her decision.

"Prophase," I agreed as I wrote it down on the worksheet. I quickly had the slides switched and the next one identified.

"Anaphase," I wrote it quickly and was about to pull the slide out when she stopped me.

"May I?" she seemed to be challenging me, but was immediately disappointed.

"Slide three?"

I handed her the slide, but was careful this time not to let her skin touch mine as it had before. I was intensely aware of how close together we were as we stood over the microscope. Heat rolled off of her like the sun.

We had the lab finished long before any of the other groups, which left nothing to do but settle down and try to read Bella's thoughts. She was avoiding me by watching some of the other groups work. She couldn't look away forever, our eyes met again.

"Did you get contacts?" she asked suddenly.

"No." I answered quickly and firmly so that there could be no doubt.

"Oh, I thought there was something different about your eyes." She seemed embarrassed again. I shrugged and tried to seem uninterested in the conversation. I knew she was referring to the color change in my eyes what happened over time when we fed. They were darker the last time she had seen me because it had been longer since I had fed then. Now they were no doubt some lighter gold color.

The blush that filled her cheeks sent a new wave of thirst through me. I balled my fingers into fists to avoid the urge to pull her to me. Everything seemed to make her that deep, seductive shade of crimson.

"So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner was behind us, his arrival sent of whoosh of Bella's scent towards me again.

"Bella," I corrected him before I could stop myself. "Actually, she identified three of the five." I said plainly. I was in no mood to deal with Banner's issues right now.

I focused on all of the deer I was going to hunt after I _didn't _kill the girl sitting next to me. I waited until he was gone and I could focus clearly enough to try talking to her again.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Weather. The weather was always a safe topic.

"Not really," she said, her tone was amusing.

"You don't like the cold." I surmised.

"Or the wet." She added. Then why would she move to the rain capitol of the United States? I wondered.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," I said. I was hoping she would explain her reasoning for moving here in the first place. She went along with my plan beautifully.

"You have no idea," she muttered. Something made me think that she wasn't just thinking of the weather in Forks when she said it, Charlie? Me?

"Why did you come here, then?" I had learned from the minds of the staff that it was some sort of custody issue, but I wanted to know _her _reasoning.

"It's… complicated." She said simply.

"I think I can keep up," Every fiber of my being growled at me for being rude, but I didn't want to let go of this chance because Bella may never speak to me again. She waited a moment before meeting my eyes and then suddenly admitting;

"My mother got remarried,"

"That doesn't sound so complex," No personal demon agenda then. "When did that happen?" I wanted her to keep talking.

"Last September." She sounded sad.

"And you don't like him," I wondered briefly if humans ever liked their step parents.

"No, Phil is fine." She defended "Too young, maybe, but nice enough." So if she didn't have a problem with him, why did she move to the land of wet and cold to get away from them?

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I kept waiting for one of her answers to be one that I had predicted, but no luck.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." She tried to smile, but it was clear she wasn't happy about anything.

"Have I heard of him?" I asked. Emmett loved baseball.

"Probably not. He doesn't play _well._ Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot." She seemed almost amused by this fact.

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." She was immediately put off by my assumption.

"No, she did not send me here." She said "I sent myself."

"I don't understand," I admitted. Why would she choose to be unhappy, so that somebody else could be happy? It went against most of my observations about human nature, especially teenage girl nature. She sighed, clearly annoyed by my lack of understanding.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." She sounded sadder and sadder by the minute. I was starting to regret pushing the subject, but I still wanted to know more. I didn't want this short lived moment to end, for her to stop talking to me.

"But now you're unhappy,"

"And?" Her sadness was turning to frustration

"That doesn't seem fair." I still didn't understand why she would make that sacrifice. None of the girls in this school would do that. I corrected myself mentally, none of the _other _girls. Bella was anything but ordinary.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

"I believe I _have _heard that somewhere before," she was preaching to the 'life isn't fair' choir.

"So that's all," she said as if to sum up her life's story.

"You put on a good show, but I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see." Even without my mind reading abilities, I found that I could still read at least _some _of her emotions from her facial expressions. She grimaced and looked away.

"Am I wrong?" I doubted that I was. She didn't seem to enjoy being here anymore than I did. "I didn't think so."

"Why does it matter to _you_?" her sadness and frustration turned to irritation.

"That's a very good question," I said it more to myself than to her. Why _was _I spending so much time fixated on her? She was just one insignificant human girl. So what if I couldn't read her mind?

This line of thinking didn't last long.

"Am I annoying you?" I didn't understand why, but I really did feel bad for bothering her so much.

"Not exactly, I'm more annoyed at myself." I didn't understand why she would be. "My face is so easy to read – my mother always calls me her open book." She frowned.

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." I said honestly.

"You must be a good reader then," she complimented me.

"Usually." I couldn't keep the smugness out of my expression.

Mr. Banner brought the class back to attention and took the rest of the class to go on about mitosis. Bella seemed to be paying intense attention to him as I tried once again to read her.

When the bell rang, I bolted from my seat. I didn't want her walking past that vent again, and I was in a hurry to get out into the fresh, un-Bella tainted air. I spent the last class of the day going over our conversation again and again. Her answers seemed human and plain enough. No reason to assume she was my personal demon. Unless demons came from Arizona.

I waited for the others by my car and watched Bella climb into the ancient monstrosity that was her truck. When she saw me watching her, she seemed to find a hurry to leave, and almost hit another car in her rush to get out of the parking lot. I chuckled at her clumsiness.

_This isn't healthy you know._ Rosalie was getting into the car, but they had obviously caught me watching Bella again. _Obsessing over that human is going to do you no good. _

I tried to drown them out as I got into the car.

_Sure, she's cute, but I don't see why you're so taken with her, she's certainly not one of us. _Emmett's mind wasn't helping me blot thoughts of Bella from my mind. I still didn't see why she occupied so many of my thoughts.

I drove home slowly, well, slowly for a vampire. We were home in about ten minutes. I pulled straight into the garage and sprinted for the door.

I turned my stereo up high and lay on the sofa as the base beats pumped through me. Bella had proven herself to be nothing more that a regular human girl, but she had also proven to be more. She was wise beyond her years, and showed a sense of compassion that wasn't typical in her generation. There was still her scent to be reckoned with. Nothing I had ever encountered had ever been as strong or as enticing as she was. Everything about her pulled me to her. From her scent, to her warmth.

I reminded myself that I had made it through a whole class with her and hadn't exposed myself or my family. It had to get easier, right?

I heard Jasper's concerns about my mental state rising from the floor below. He was considering coming up to ask me about it. I really hoped he wouldn't. I walked slowly past my wall of CD's until I came to what I was looking for; Muse. I focused on the beat of the music. Identifying each sound from each instrument while pulling the lyrics out from the rest. This was to take my mind off of what was currently plaguing it.

My thoughts eventually made it back to Bella, and by the morning I had made up my mind that she was _just _a human girl, and nothing more. All I would have to do was stay as far away from her as possible, and take it a day at a time. Her scent wouldn't bother me, and neither would she.

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I hope you enjoyed. I have more.


	2. 3 Phenomenon

**I'm not Stephenie Meyer. But I hope you enjoy this regardless!**

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Chapter 3: Phenomenon

I made the drive to school in good time, letting my siblings out in front of the building; I made my way to the parking spot. The thoughts around me were dull predictable, elated for the snow, worried about the ice, thinking about tests, dates… the list went on, I shuttered and I tried to block them all out. Reluctantly, I pulled my key and got out of the car. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bella's massive truck come into the parking lot. Every time I saw her, it made my decision to stay away from her seem so much harder to follow through with. There was still so much about her that I wanted to know. The truck was handling the ice well I noted, considering its age, but it did have snow chains on. I watched Bella get out of her car and tried not to try to get into her head. She walked to the back end of her car with a very confused expression. She stood staring at the chains on her truck.

It frustrated me that she seemed to be some kind of a car wreck. I knew that is was wrong to be so keenly interested in her, and yet I couldn't make myself look away. Some foreign interest in her kept pulling me back even as I tried to get away.

I pondered Bella expression as she looked at the snow chains, why she would care so much? Hadn't she put them there? The look on her face was almost… touched. She seemed to be getting emotional over some snow chains.

_Oh god! Oh shit! The breaks aren't working! Bella! _Tyler Crowley's thoughts hit me a second before the screaming squeal of breaks against ice. My head jerked to the side. His van was skidding towards her at an alarming pace. Her human reflexes took an eternity to kick in. As I watched, she slowly started to look up. Her brown eyes locked on mine before she saw the van. They were full of fear, terror and confusion, a look I always thought would be directed towards me, not a vehicle. She seemed to recognize the danger when she saw the van, but stayed still. Not that she would have been able to get away in time at her speed. I threw my plan to stay away from her out the window.

In less than seconds, I was plummeting towards her at superhuman speed. She didn't deserve to die this way, not her. She was too good and kind for this to happen to her. I ran to her at an alarming rate, equally as fast as the van. I slowed myself in an attempt to cushion the blow I knew she would receive as I pushed her to the asphalt, trying to soften her landing with my hands.

Bella's scent hit me almost as I hit her. I swallowed back the venom that urged me to take her and forced my attention back onto the matter at hand. Bella and I were plummeting toward the ground.

Once she was safely on the ground, I turned my attention to the van, which had hit Bella's truck and was sliding in our direction again. I swore without thinking not to and threw my hands out to stop it in a reflexive motion. I switched my hands and shoved Bella's legs out of the way before letting go of the van and letting it fall to the ground.

Bystanders started to scream and cry, but I was acutely aware of the fact that Bella, in all of her warm, amazingly scented glory, was pressed right up against the length of my body. I immediately stopped breathing any more than I had to in order to speak.

The thoughts around us screamed concern and fear. Bella had clearly been seen in the path of Tyler's van, but so far, no one seemed to know that I was here. And thankfully, no one had noticed the van's unusual motions upon impact.

"Bella? Are you all right?" I asked cautiously. Her heart rate was fast, but with any luck, I had knocked her unconscious when I hit her.

"I'm fine." She whispered, clearly shocked. I became immediately concerned by how much she saw. The people around us may not have noticed me, but she may have. What had I done?

"Be careful," I warned trying to hint at my many meanings. She was trying to get out from underneath me, struggling against me. I could feel her pulse steadily thudding against me. Her muscles flexed as she tried to sit up. I swallowed back more venom my mouth was watering and my throat burned with intense hunger. I didn't want her stirring the air in the confined space more than she had to. "I think you hit your head pretty hard." I warned.

There was a pause as we listened to the sounds of teachers and students yelling. Bella was breathing in small, rushed gasps. I could hear Rosalie's thoughts off in the distance;

_I am going to kill him. _She thought angrily. Not if I get there first, I thought regretfully.

_Oh, poor Edward. You can do this, you'll make it through. _Alice thought hopefully.

"Ow," Bella seemed surprised that she was in pain.

"That's what I thought." Why hadn't she believed me when I said she hit her head?

"How in the…" she seemed confused about the whole situation. "How did you get over here so fast?" she asked. Uh oh.

"I was standing right next to you, Bella," I assured her. She tried to sit up again and this time I let her. I slid back as far as I could and pressed myself up against the side of the van. She looked disoriented and confused, but not like she hadn't believed my words.

"Don't move," somebody instructed, so of course Bella immediately tried to get up.

"Just stay put for now." I pushed her back down, my hand only lingered on her shoulder for an instant, but it felt like an eternity. How easy it would be to pretend it had been the van…

_No! _I screamed it at myself over and over. I had endangered my family more than enough for one lifetime.

"But it's cold." She complained. I couldn't stop my chuckle. She was just hit by a van, twice, and was trapped in a confined space with _me_, a monster that wanted her blood more than possibly anything in this universe, and she was complaining about the cold!

"You were over there," she said suddenly. I cursed her memory.

"No, I wasn't."

"I saw you."

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way." I tried hard to make her believe this. My life depended on it.

"No." she was so stubborn.

"Please, Bella." I begged.

"Why?" she demanded more information. Information I didn't want to give her.

"Trust me," I was trying every approach I could think of.

"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"

"Fine," I snapped. I would explain again to her that I was right by her side the whole time _after _the doctors told her that she had a concussion.

"Fine," she snapped back.

I waited for the 8 adults to move the van far enough to get Bella off. I briefly considered leaning on it to help them move it along, but Bella was glaring at me and refused to take her eyes off of me long enough to speed up the process.

I concentrated on keeping my thirst in check. Mind over matter, I reminded myself again and again.

Chief Swan arrived soon after they had finally strapped a fussing Bella to a stretcher. He was relieved to see her in such a good state. His imagination had gone wild with thoughts of Bella in a car crash. I noted that she once again stumbled over what to call him. Her natural inclination was to call him Charlie, but she corrected herself with the term 'dad'. Although when she spoke of her mother, she didn't use a first name. I listened closely for any mention of me, but so far so she hadn't said anything.

I turned down the assistance of the eager medics and caught the glares of my siblings before I climbed into the front seat of Bella's ambulance. Alice was trying unsuccessfully to usher them into the building. Rosalie's glare made her opinions on my situation clear, I didn't even want to get close to her thoughts. Emmett was amused, and Jasper shocked.

The ride to the hospital was agony. What had I done? On just a whim I had betrayed my family and put us all in grave danger. If she told anyone, we would have to leave, or worse; clean up a mess. Rosalie was right, I'm a disgusting, dangerous monster. I let my obsession with one human girl put all of us at risk. Now I had to deal with my mistake and try to pick up the pieces of our shattered façade.

At soon as I arrived at the hospital, I waved off more medics and headed straight for Carlisle. He met me in the hallway, having already been informed of my situation.

"Rosalie called." He said angrily. She s_aid you 'picked up' a van in the parking lot? _He was clearly quoting her, but was skeptical of it. I filled him in quickly as soon as we ducked into an empty room.

"The van was about to hit her, and I know it was a stupid mistake, but I couldn't stop myself. I pushed her out of the way, and stopped the van… twice."

"_Twice?_" He looked at me, eyes wide. _Edward…_

"Once it hit… me, it came around again and I had to stop it again." Carlisle nodded. He was handling the situation better than I would have expected.

"How much did the students see?"

"Nothing," I answered confidently. "I didn't pick up a hint of my presence in anyone's thoughts." Carlisle nodded.

"How much did she see?" he asked warily.

"That I was further away than I should have been, and she may have seen me move the van." I decided honesty was the best way to go. But I winced as I said it nonetheless.

"Is she trustworthy?"

"I think so. She has had the chance, but she hasn't said anything." I found that I was quick to defend her.

"So, she hasn't made up her mind yet then?" he asked.

"No." I said it a little _too_ quickly. He recognized this and I found something to say before he could make any assumptions. "She's harder to read than anyone I've ever met." It wasn't a total lie, but I wasn't ready to let anyone in on my weakness just yet. Carlisle was confused, but accepted it and nodded. Carlisle trusted me, and I hated doing this to him.

"What do you need me to do?" he was down to business.

"She hit her head on the sidewalk, if she thinks that she had a concussion, then maybe she'll believe me when I tell her that I was right by her side from the start."

"I see." He refused to meet my eyes. "I'll do my best," _but I'm not going to lie to the girl._ Great, so I have to.

"Okay," I said

"Go check on her, and I'll be in shortly." I nodded and he disappeared.

Bella's room was easy to find. The E.R. was marked clearly, and there weren't many rooms. I just followed the sound of Tyler Crowley's profuse apologies down the hall to her room. At least the topic wasn't on my not-so-human actions. I walked slowly into the room. Bella was laying with her eyes closed on one of the two beds. Tyler was in the other. His open wounds were a helpful distraction from Bella, but his presence wasn't so helpful if I was going to have to tell her again and again that I was right by her side.

As I watched her for a moment as she lay in the hospital bed, a reminded myself that she was nothing but a risk to my family and I, and that something would have to be done if we wanted to remain safe in Forks. Although it was hard to raise my thoughts against her as she lay helplessly in bed.

"Is she sleeping?" I asked. Her eyes went wide at the sound of my voice. She went back to glaring at me as soon as she caught herself.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry – " Tyler was about to redirect his stream of apologies in my direction. I raised my hand to stop him.

"No blood, no foul," I smiled.

I positioned myself on the edge of Tyler's bed, so that I could see Bella and so that Tyler's scent was almost as strong as Bella's, but even then, hers was infinitely more tempting.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked. I wanted to know what the nurses she'd already seen had said.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all," she complained "but they won't let me go," She was so stubborn, I couldn't believe it. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know," I said. I heard Carlisle down the hall.

_Her x-ray looks really good Edward. There's not much I can do here. She's fine._

"But don't worry, I came to spring you." I added warmly.

When Carlisle sauntered into the room, Bella's mouth fell open. So there was at least _one _normal response she had going for her.

"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling today?" Carlisle gave her his best smile.

"I'm fine," she insisted again. Carlisle stuck the sheets into the display and lit up the board.

"Your X-rays look good, does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine," she scowled at me. Carlisle brushed through her hair with his fingertips, examining her. I wondered how he could stand being so close to her. She winced.

"Tender?" he asked

"Not really." She lied. Her stubbornness and refusal to except medical care made me laugh. Bella glared at me again.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

_Sorry Edward. You'll have to do your best and hope that she keeps all this to herself. There's not much more I can do. _Carlisle thought with remorse. _Alice called, she had Jasper pull your dents out of the cars. _I sighed with relief. I'd forgotten all about the evidence I'd left.

"Can't I go back to school?" She really didn't give up did she?

"Maybe you should take it easy today." Carlisle offered.

"Does _he _get to go to school?" she glared at me again.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," I said. This only made her glare harder.

"Actually," Carlisle started "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," Bella's face went pale at the thought of the student body in the waiting room.

"Do you want to stay?" Carlisle was as surprised by her reaction as I was.

"No, no!" Bella tried to jump out of bed, but ended up falling into Carlisle's arms. I fought the sudden and uncontrollable instinct to catch her myself.

"I'm fine," Bella said yet again.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," Carlisle suggested.

"It doesn't hurt that bad," she insisted

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Carlisle told her as he signed off on her chart.

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me," she glanced at me.

"Oh, well, yes," Carlisle was ignoring the fact that she was clearly baiting him. He turned to Tyler and started in on his next patient. Bella waited until Carlisle's back was turned to jump on me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she hissed. The motion of coming towards me sent her aroma towards again. The shock to my senses wouldn't have been worse if I'd been hit by a speeding semi. I set my jaw and swallowed venom.

"Your father is waiting for you," I suggested while doing my best not to open my mouth, lest the aroma find its way in.

_Go with her Edward, see what you can do to clean up this mess._ Even Carlisle was against me.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind," Bella said after glancing at Carlisle and Tyler.

I walked briskly into a well ventilated hallway and kept walking until I was far away from the nurses' prying ears.

"What do you want?" I spun around to face her, masking my anger and self loathing with annoyance.

"You owe me an explanation," her words were suddenly fearful.

"I saved your life – I don't owe you anything." The sharpness of my words made her flinch.

"You promised." She said softly.

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." Her anger started to grow again, it flared in her brown eyes as they smoldered up at me.

"There's nothing wrong with my head." She growled.

"What do you want from me Bella?" I returned her glare.

"I want to know the truth." She said flatly. "I want to know why I'm lying for you."

"What do you _think _happened?" I snapped.

"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me –" her words came faster and faster "Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the sides of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…" she trailed off. Her teeth were clench, her face red, and tears were starting to pool in her eyes. Upon seeing her, I regretted what I had to do, but reminded myself that it was for the best for everyone.

I relied on my life of lying to get me through the conversation.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" I said incredulously. She nodded.

"Nobody will believe that, you know." I warned. She responded slowly, keeping control of her voice.

"I'm not going to tell anybody." I was immediately confused again. If she wasn't planning on telling anyone, why was she so determined to know?

"Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me," her voice was full of emotion. "I don't like to lie – so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

She'd never know that there couldn't _be _a better reason. But I still didn't understand why she would lie to protect me without some benefit to herself. Bella continually surprised me.

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?" I wanted to beg her to get over it, but something made me doubt she would.

"Thank you."

"You're not going to let it go, are you?" I asked solemnly.

"No." her voice was firm.

"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment." All I could do was pray that she would keep her word. She glared at me for a long moment before asking;

"Why did you even bother?" The question caught me off guard.

"I don't know," I whispered. I truly didn't. I wandered off, leaving her in the hallway alone.

Why had I saved her? I wondered as I drove home. At the time all I could think was 'not her'. It wasn't a very good reason and I knew it.

I had managed to build up an excuse based on the fact that I wasn't sure what would happen if Bella's blood spilled in front of me. I told myself that if her delicate skin had been broken, and her powerfully alluring blood had been spilled, I would have exposed us all by trying to get my teeth in some.

But by the time I walked through the door, I wasn't so sure that that had been my reasons. Esme pulled me into her arms.

"Oh Edward." She sighed "I heard all about it." She held me there like a child in his mother's arms. _Please don't leave again. _She stopped her thoughts sharply.

"How did it happen?" she pulled back to look into my eyes. I told her the excuse about Bella's blood spilling in front of me and my lack of control. She saw through it, but didn't press the issue.

Esme released me. "Well if you want to talk…" she offered. I nodded a thank you and drifted to the piano, which I continued to play until I heard my siblings nearby, home from school. I headed for my room and shut the door quickly. I was sitting on the floor near the window with the music turned up when I heard Alice come in. She floated gracefully to my side and settled cross-legged on the floor a short distance from me.

_Edward. _She thought softly. _I know it was an accident, and I know you wouldn't have done it if there had been another option. That's not why I'm here. _Her thoughts didn't question my reasons, which I appreciated, but I gave her a questioning look. _I'm here to show you something. _A session of rapid, shocking images filled my mind all at once. Each one involved Bella.

Bella in the passenger seat of my car.

Bella at a dance with Mike Newton.

Bella sitting on my black sofa.

Bella in another hospital bed.

Bella and I sitting contently on Bella's bed.

Bella in a wide green open field, filled with sunshine.

Bella lying in a dark alley, on the edge of death.

Bella with bright red eyes.

The last image made my eyes go wide.

"No!" I breathed. I couldn't let this happen! I jumped up and began pacing, looking for an answer, a solution. Looking for a _reason_. All I had done was stop her from getting killed by a van, how could this end in such a way? I couldn't doom her to this half existence. I knew that if it came true, it would be no one's fault but my own. I couldn't let it happen.

_Edward. These are just possible futures. They may or may not happen. _

My mind was made up. I was going to keep my distance from Bella Swan from now on. I swore to myself that she wouldn't become a vampire. I couldn't let that happen. I had decided in an instant that she didn't deserve to die today, but there was no way that I would let her become the monster that I was because of my interference in her life.

Alice caught my frantic expression. _I just thought you should know._

"Thank you, Alice." I whispered weakly. She nodded and left the room silently.


	3. 4 Revelations and Invitations

AN: I don't own anything! I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it!

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Chapter 4: Revelations and Invitations

I went to school the next day, determined not to let Bella Swan interrupt my life, and determined to keep Alice's possible futures from happening. Although I had to admit to myself that they weren't all that bad. In a dark corner of my mind I held on to Alice's images of us together. We looked happy, _she _looked happy. How could that be?

How could someone like _her_ be happy in the company of some_thing_ such as myself? She must not have known what I really was in that version of the future.

I kept clear of my siblings, and they had their minds set on anything but me. Esme had quietly told them to keep their distance. As ashamed as I was that Esme had been forced to get involved in my situation, I was grateful that she had.

I was seated and not breathing when Bella came into the Biology room.

"Hello, Edward," she said calmly. I acknowledged her, but didn't speak. Speaking would mean breathing, and I didn't want to test my endurance any more than I had to. Speaking to her would also definitely break my noninterference decision. Mind over matter, I told myself, mind over matter.

Bella didn't say anything further, and neither did I. It was better this way, each of us sitting silently in class as if the other wasn't there. I kept my distance for the following month, but watched her intently. I told my family that it was only to make sure that she kept out secret, which she faithfully did. When asked about the accident, she would insist that I was some sort of 'hero', but she kept her word about all of the other things she had seen.

Even though I 'kept my distance', I became acutely aware of where she was at all times. I'd grown into the habit of following her around by reading the minds of those around her. The males stilled had daydreams about her, and Jessica was jealous of her attention as always. It bothered me that I was forced to stoop to the level of reading Jessica's mind, but I found that I did it gladly when it gave me a glimpse of Bella.

Mike Newton was another matter completely. His thoughts were almost always occupied by Bella Swan. There wasn't much variety to his daydreams either. Most involved Bella, him, and some romantic but cliché locale. Usually a beach or fireplace. I wondered how aware Bella was of his interest in her. I kept waiting for him to outgrow it, but he continually went back to his disgusting daydreams. It shouldn't bother me that he thinks about her as most teenage boys think of teenage girls, but for some reason, when the object of his affections was Bella, I wanted to throw something at him.

I contemplated this in passing once as he thought of Bella on a beach, but decided that it would probably not only be frowned upon by my family, but it would also break my code of noninterference. I convinced myself that is was just the appearance of my chivalrous roots. Some deep buried part of me wanted to protect Bella from Mike's dishonorable intentions. So why didn't it bother me when the other boys thought about the other girls? Why was it only the thoughts revolving around Bella that bothered me?

Bella went on with her life as if nothing had changed, as if I hadn't stepped in to save her life. I was grateful for this because it meant the continuing safety of my family, but part of me was still frustrated that I didn't know what she thought of me. Rosalie still glared at me from time to time when she caught me watching Bella, and Alice kept close tabs on my future in order to step in should I get out of line in any way. Such as throwing things at Mike Newton.

Bella _seemed _totally and completely average in her life, but upon my closer inspection wasn't at all average. In addition to her clumsiness, she continually put others before herself. She never seemed to think of herself, even when others would. I wished in vain to read her thoughts and to understand what she was thinking, but alas, I could not.

I walked into Biology as I had every day for a month since the accident. I timed myself to get there before Bella, and pushed my chair to the side. In the month of classes, I had trained myself to breath in her presence, and was slowly able to retain acting like a human again, a feat Jasper was proud of.

Bella stumbled into the room and took her seat next to me without a word. Heat radiated from her like she was the sun itself. I swallowed back venom as Mike Newton made his way over to our table.

_Okay, just ignore Cullen and focus on Bella. He hasn't even shown any interest in her since the van thing, and that happened almost a month ago! How can he sit next to a girl that _hot_ and not even notice her?! _

His thoughts were shallow and disgusted me. I wasn't sure why his constant daydreams about Bella bothered me so much, but nonetheless they did. Almost every minute of every day I wanted to knock him out, but knew Carlisle would definitely not approve. I talked myself down as he mentally talked himself up.

"So," Mike was looking at the floor. _Spit it out! You can do this! She'll say yes!! _He was screaming a pep talk at himself. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance." I wondered at his approach. If he was going to ask her to the dance, why was he talking about Jessica?

"That's great. You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica." Bella's voice was enthusiastic. I immediately wondered how she really felt about it. Was the enthusiasm false? Was Bella secretly hoping Newton was going to ask her? I suppressed a growl at the thought of Newton anywhere near her.

"Well…"_ Come on Mike! Get to the point! _"I told her I had to think about it." _Come on Bella, take the hint. Its ladies choice remember?_

"Why would you do that?" Bella clearly disapproved. So she didn't want to go with Newton after all. His face went cherry red in response. I smirked despite my attempt to stay out of the situation.

"I was wondering if… well, if you might be planning to ask me." _Way to go with the subtle hints Mike! _

Bella waited a long moment, letting guilt cover her face before responding "Mike, I think you should tell her yes,"

"Did you already ask someone?" He blurted. _You didn't ask Cullen did you?_ His quick glance at me wasn't missed.

"No," she explained "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" he was clearly disappointed.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," she said plainly. I wondered if she really was, or if it was just an excuse to say no to her most faithful admirer. Perhaps she was more aware of his intentions then I had first thought.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" His voice was whiny. Anger flared in me and I suddenly wished that he'd leave Bella alone. She's said no, and he wouldn't give up.

"Sorry, no, so you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer –" she said, and then added "it's rude." Good, they deserve each other, I thought venomously.

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled glumly. That's it Newton, take the hint and go away.

He turned slowly and walked back to his seat. His thoughts were filled with thoughts of defeat and anger. He was sure I was in on it somehow. As far as I was concerned, he could keep thinking that.

Bella clamped her eyes shut and rubbed her fingers against her temples like she had a headache. She wanted Newton to go with her friend and not her? After the malicious thoughts that Jessica had been thinking ever since Bella came to forks, I didn't understand it. It was clear that Bella didn't know how Jessica really felt, but either way, why would a teenage girl turn down a date with the puppy-like Mike Newton? I focused on the silent space that was her mind as she continued to rub her temples. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

She opened her eyes and met my frustrated gaze. She seemed confused, but reluctant to look away from me. We watched each other intensely as I tried to read her mind, and she, well, who knew what Bella was thinking. Certainly not me.

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner asked. He was trying to catch me not paying attention. And in truth I wasn't, but I searched his gloating thoughts for what he was looking for. I had the answer before the question.

"The Krebs Cycle," I said absently. In the time it took me to glance at the teacher, Bella had her eyes down and brushed her fingers through her hair so that it was securely between us. I had wondered at the mannerism before. Was it just a habit? Was it to keep our eyes from meeting? Something told me I might never know the answer.

It occurred to me then, as I speculated on why she did her hair the way that she did, that I may have been making her uncomfortable. I didn't understand her, and I didn't understand the new emotions she and Mike Newton brought up in me, but it was no reason to frighten her like this. And I was assuming she was frightened. The only way to know, would have been to ask her for myself, but I was doubtful that that was going to happen.

Guilt started to flow through me again. Just like it had in the hospital after I'd lied to her again and again. I felt bad for the things that I was putting her through. I decided to wait for the end of class to make my attempt at making peace with my demon once and for all.

"Bella?" she had her back to me and was gathering her books in a rush, doubtlessly in a hurry to leave.

"What? Are you speaking to me again?" She was clearly angry with me, the malice in her voice caught me off guard.

"No, not really," I had made up my mind to make peace, and never look back. I wasn't going to turn this into a habit. She inhaled slowly, fighting back something, revulsion?

"Then what do you want, Edward?" She had shut her eyes and refused to open them. Why she would refuse to look at me? Was it for the same reason that she always pulled her hair between us?

"I'm sorry." I said simply. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really." It was too hard to explain. Something in me wanted to see Alice's happier visions come true, but another part was determined to protect her from them. To protect her from me.

"I don't know what you mean," her words were hard, calculated.

"It's better if we're not friends, trust me." I really wanted her to. Her eyes, now open, narrowed and she gave me a look that suggested that I had just told her some blatant lie. I couldn't have predicted what came next.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier, you could have saved yourself all this regret." She hissed through gritted teeth. I was stunned.

"Regret?" I asked in my futile attempt to understand her. "Regret for what?"

"For not just letting the stupid van squish me." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I saved her life, and she thought I _regretted _doing it? Bella Swan thought I wanted her dead. Anger coursed through me, she had no idea what she was talking about. After all of the effort I had put into keeping her alive!

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I _know _you do," her words were quick and sure.

"You don't know anything." I accused.

So much for making peace with her.

Bella gathered her books into her arms and headed for the door without another word. Her exit was stopped by the doorjamb. She tripped and threw her books onto the floor. She looked at the books, and then at the door and I wondered if she was going to leave them. She sighed and bent to pick them up, but I was already there.

"Thank you," she said coldly as I offered her her things.

"You're welcome," Was it the books we were talking about or something else? She spun off and walked quickly for the gym. I watched her go and wished more than ever that I could read her mind.

I was late for my next class but the teacher didn't notice. I wouldn't have known what class it was except for the sign on the door. All I could think about was Bella. Clearly talking to her had been a mistake, now I just had more questions. What had made her think, that after I saved her life, and then kept my distance for a month, that I wanted her dead? I acknowledged that part of me _did _want her dead, but she had no way of knowing about that part.

Every time we spoke I seemed to understand her less. I was angry with myself that I was spending so much time thinking about a human whose mind I couldn't read. I knew I should stay away from her, but her mind was so… intriguing. Why couldn't I read it? And why was the pull of her blood so much stronger than any other human?

I came to the conclusion that I should be guilt free. I had apologized for my behavior, and made it reasonably clear that I didn't regret saving her life. I'd be able to watch her, and maybe learn why she was the way she was, without any contact. Although I regretted that what I had resolved to do could be classified as 'stalking'.

I was out the door and in the parking lot as quickly as _humanly _possible. Bella was almost running for her truck, which Eric was waiting beside. I stopped a few cars down to listen in. I didn't need to read his thoughts to know what he wanted. Bella seemed shocked to see him there. I focused in on their conversation.

"Hey, Eric," she said

"Hi, Bella." _She turned down Mike, so maybe she's just waiting for the right guy…_ His thoughts were full of hope as he continued.

"What's up?" she was wrestling with her keys.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice cracked with boyhood nerves on the last word, but I applauded him on his ability to be forward about it. Not dropping dozens of ill placed hints as Newton had.

"I thought it was girls' choice?" Bella seemed as uncomfortable about the situation as Eric was. Did this mean that he was the one she was waiting for?

"Well, yeah," Eric stammered. Bella recovered from her shock quickly and replaced it with a smile.

"Thank you for asking me," she tried to be friendly. "but I'm going to be in Seattle that day." Eric was clearly disappointed. _Well, at least she's not going with Mike. I'm not the only one she turned down._

"Oh, well, maybe next time."

"Sure," she said softly, trying to salvage his feelings no doubt. Eric marched back to the school and Bella made for her truck. The expression on her face was priceless. I couldn't help but chuckle. She seemed upset by the idea of being asked to a dance. She slammed her door loudly and revved the engine angrily. Luckily my Volvo was just two spaced down. I was pulled out in front of her in no time.

During the whole conversation with Eric, Tyler had been pacing beside his newly acquired Sentra. _She turned down Mike. _He assured himself. _All you have to do is ask. If she says yes, then great, if she says no, that's okay too. _The boys at Forks High School made it seem impossible to ask a girl to a dance. _Look at that, Eric looks disappointed, I bet she turned him down too._

On any other day I wouldn't have bothered with playing matchmaker, but today I had already broken my 'no contact' rules, and I wanted to see how Bella would react if asked by yet another admirer.

I waited there for my family to arrive and make me leave, but I hoped that Tyler would get out of his car before then. Bella was fuming. She glared at my car like she'd like to set it on fire. After much more deliberating, and another male pep talk, Tyler got out of his car and knocked on Bella's window. She had some trouble with the window.

"I'm sorry Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen." She used my last name. Clearly she was angry with me. But she had no idea what was coming.

"Oh, I know – I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." He smiled sheepishly. Bella's face went a few shades whiter and her eyes widened with disbelief. Tyler clearly didn't notice as he continued with his mental pep talk.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he asked after a beat.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler." She sounded apologetic, but it was clearly an act.

"Yeah, Mike said that," he sighed. Bella's face flashed crimson red with anger.

"Then why – " she didn't know what to say. I felt like laughing. I didn't understand why she wouldn't be used to this by now. The boys in Arizona _must _have acted the same way they did here. Why did this upset her so much?

"I was hoping you were just letting him down easy." He shrugged.

"Sorry, Tyler," she was gritting her teeth again. "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom." He backed away before she could respond. Disbelief filled her features.

"Hey Edward. How was your day?" Alice asked as they climbed into the car. Bella had a death grip on her steering wheel.

"Fine." I laughed as I raced for home. Rosalie was upset, but didn't say anything. Jasper stared at me through my rearview mirror.

_Edward, I saw you talking to the Swan girl. _Alice had her eyes trained on me as we came in the door. I raised my eyebrows. And?

_I think you should talk to Carlisle. Staying away from her isn't going to be as easy as you think it is. _She followed me up to my room.

"What did you see, Alice?" I asked.

_Nothing yet. _I cocked my head to the side. _The more time goes by, the less I see her future and your future. _She explained. _The more I see your futures together. _I sighed.

Apparently my plan to stay away from her and watch from a distance wasn't going to work. I needed something new. Alice caught on to my inner turmoil quickly.

_Go talk to Carlisle. _She suggested. _He's old; he may have some advice for you. _As blatant as she was, Alice was right. Carlisle may be able to shed some light on my situation. I nodded and headed back out the door, I didn't want to wait any longer.

Carlisle was waiting for me in his office at the hospital. Alice had called to fill him in, but she didn't know the whole story.

"Is she a danger to us?" he asked solemnly.

"I don't _think _so." His confusion was well founded.

"Well, does she know what we are?" he asked

"I don't believe so." I had decided the moment that I stepped into his office, that honesty was the best policy from here on out. We'll see how it lasts.

"I don't understand." He admitted, shaking his blonde head.

"Carlisle," I searched for the right words. "I can't read her mind."

"What?" he was shocked. "You said she was harder to read than anyone else you'd met, but I didn't think…" he drifted off.

"Nothing at all." I answered his unspoken question. "But she hasn't _said_ anything to anyone about it." I added quickly.

"Edward, this girl could be dangerous." I laughed hollowly. _I _was the danger here, not her. _Rosalie thinks we need to get rid of her… _I flinched at his words, but I wasn't sure why. Carlisle caught it and his thoughts went to Esme, but I didn't understand why.

"It's not her fault," I argued.

"Edward," Carlisle was being careful with his thoughts and his word choice. "How do you _feel_ about her?" I was immediately confused. What could he mean? How did I _feel_?

"Alice says you've been watching her, and talking to her against your better judgment." He explained. I couldn't meet his eyes. There was no good explanation for my behavior. I had put my family in danger, and continually followed Bella for reasons _I _didn't even understand. "I see." He said.

_Well, I can't give you any advice from experience, but I understand your frustration._

"Could she be doing it on purpose? Blocking me?" The thoughts from her first day in Forks came back to me. When I was convinced that she was my personal demon, here to tear my family apart.

"I don't think so, but honestly, I'm not sure." There was a long pause. _You may have to work through this yourself. _

Carlisle's advice hadn't helped me as much as Alice seemed to think it would. I dropped the car off at home and ended up in the woods. There had to be a reason that I couldn't read Bella. If she was blocking me on purpose, maybe she let her guard down at night. My wandering through the forest had taken me to the Swan's backyard. Bella was home alone. I focused all my attention on reading her. There had to be a crack somewhere, a way to get in.

I waited outside their house for the right moment, and thought about everything. I analyzed everything that happened in their home for a clue. The house was almost completely silent for the sounds of Bella cooking in the kitchen. Finally Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway, she'd have to talk. Chief Swan had always been just as easy as anyone else to read. Was her mother the same? Maybe if she was talking to someone I could get some questions answered.

Bella made dinner in silence while Charlie watched television in another room. They gathered together in the kitchen to eat.

Bella and Charlie ate dinner in relative quiet for a human family. Bella's voice broke the silence.

"Dad?" she asked

"Yeah, Bella?" _uh oh… _Chief Swan was concerned about Bella's tone.

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seattle for the day a week from Saturday." She paused uncomfortably. "if that's okay?"

So the Seattle line wasn't a lie, but it still could be an excuse to say no to her line of never ending suitors. I chuckled at the thought of the look on her face at the end of the day in the parking lot.

"Why?" _What's in Seattle that she can't find here I wonder?_

"Well, I wanted to get a few books – the library here is pretty limited –" _true "_and maybe look at some clothes." _She's got a point, there aren't many department stores in Forks. _

Alice's vision of Bella lying in an alley on the edge of death crept into my mind.

I gasped, was he seriously considering letting her go to Seattle? Alone? Did he not know Bella? From what I'd seen in the past few weeks, she'd almost been hit by a van, and found anything and everything to trip over. She'd probably find a way to fall off of the Space Needle!

I backtracked my thoughts, reminding myself that I shouldn't be concerned with it. I was just here to…

I didn't have a reason to be here.

"That truck probably doesn't get very good gas mileage." Point one for Charlie.

"I know, I'll stop in Montesano and Olympia – and Tacoma if I have to." Even to Charlie it seemed like a lot of gas.

"Are you going all by yourself?" _Maybe she's got a boyfriend? _Charlie pondered Bella's reasons, and so did I. I hadn't considered that maybe she did have a boyfriend. If he wasn't here then maybe she had left him in Arizona. That would explain why she turned down each of the boys at school.

"Yes."

"Seattle is a big city – you could get lost!" She seemed upset by his lack of faith in her, but Charlie was finally starting to show some common sense regarding his danger-prone daughter.

"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle – and I can read a map, don't worry about it." I sounded like a line she'd used before, and I wondered briefly if she had.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I chuckled again. Charlie hated the idea of going on a shopping trip with his teenage daughter almost as much as he hated the idea of her having a secret boyfriend.

"That's all right, Dad, I'll probably just be in dressing rooms all day – very boring." _Thank god… _

"oh, okay" he tried to sound neutral on the subject, as he continued considering her reasons for going. Then his mind clicked.

"Will you be back in time for the dance?" _Couldn't she find someone to go with?_

"No – I don't dance dad." She said it like it should have been obvious.

"oh, that's right." Charlie seemed to understand, but I still didn't. Why didn't Bella dance? I had noticed her tripping over solid ground, but that couldn't have been her reason for turning down three offers. The secret boyfriend idea was becoming much more feasible.

They went their different ways shortly after and went to bed. I paced in the woods outside of the house for a few hours before making up my mind.

I had imagined this moment before. Back when Bella had first inflicted her aroma on me. Back when I had set my mind to killing her in a thousand different ways, just to get her blood. The thought shamed me now. Knowing that I had been so weak. Still, my strength concerned me as I stared up at her window from the grass below. I closed my eyes, hoping that by some fluke of chance I'd be able to crack the code that surrounded Bella's mind.

It was late, and all I could hear from the Swan residence was Charlie's ever present snore. My eyes flashed open and I darted up a tree to get a better vantage. The room was dark, but that was never an object for me. I easily made out her form, lying on the bed gently rising and falling from her steady breath. Part of me had hoped she'd still be awake. A reason for me to turn back now. With a swift motion I threw myself at the glass and hoped Alice wasn't watching.

The frame slid open easily, and I landed without a sound on the carpet just inside her window. I stayed in the crouched position I had landed in. Her scent saturated the room. I stood there, low to the ground, surrounded by Bella. Her clothes, her books, her bed, everything smelled of her. I stopped breathing promptly. The scent was ten times what is was on her first day of class, and just as tempting. I stayed frozen in place for minutes, considering my options. Her breathing and heartbeat had remained steady, so I hadn't woke her up. I could turn back now, but then I may never grasp the secret that was Bella Swan.

But, what was there to learn here? Talking to her had only confused me more, what would coming here do?

I eyed the mess of chocolate hair before me and my resolution to leave melted. If I didn't try now, I may never get my chance again. Rosalie would no doubt tie me up in the basement for this. I approached slowly. She was lying on her side, facing away from me. A cool gust of wind came through the still open window behind me, brushing through her hair and stirring the air with her scent. When had I started breathing again? I cursed myself mentally and realized that the cold air might wake her. In a fraction of a second I was at the window easing it shut.

"Edward."

I froze again, she sounded awake, but her heart and breathing was still steady. Had she caught me? I turned slowly to face her and braced myself for the screaming if she was awake. She rolled over, onto her back, still asleep. I crept back beside her and a new feeling washed over me as I looked over her features once again. She seemed so at ease. The wrinkle between her eyebrows she always seemed to have when she spoke to me was gone. Her inquisitive eyes were closed peacefully. She looked utterly relaxed… and utterly beautiful.

She sighed and rolled over slowly, adjusting her position. And said it again.

"Edward." If I had had a working heart, at that moment it would have stopped. I fell to my knees and stayed there for the remainder of the night, just watching. I tried to memorize every part of her, every inch of creamy warm skin, every lock of wavy brown hair. The anger at Mike Newton and the enjoyment at her frustration caused by being the center of attention suddenly made sense as I felt the sharp pain of first love. I was coming out of a fog, waking from a life without Bella.

Part of me knew that this wasn't good, that she was human and that I wasn't. That things would never work out. But part of me was so elated in the new emotions she had awoken in me that I didn't care. I wanted to kneel there beside her for eternity, waiting for her to wake up.

The way she had said my name. Almost a sigh. There was no anger, no frustration, she almost seemed happy?

She slept contentedly as I kneeled beside her. Bella rolled over from time to time, and pushed away her blankets.

"Mom," she groaned "Is that a good idea?" I chuckled silently and wondered what she was dreaming about that would involve her mother and I. Eventually she settled into a deep sleep and stopped talking. A settled in to listen to the melody of her heartbeat.

Her heart thudded angrily at me. Warning me to leave, but begging me to stay. I knew this was wrong, that I was a disgusting animal that wasn't worthy of being in her presence, but I didn't care. I was content to kneel by her side forever.

Sneaking into her room was shameful and terrible, but I realized now that I would do anything to be near her, the embodiment of all things pure and beautiful. Even in the dark of the night, she glowed with a warm light. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her silky skin, but I wouldn't allow myself that. It was already bad enough that I had come here at all.

Alice had seen this coming. So why hadn't I done anything more to stop it? Did I even _want _to do anything to stop it?

I took a small, but deep breath, savoring the luscious scent that hung around me. It clung to my throat, but calmed me as the burning flared. This girl, this woman, was holding me prisoner. Like a siren, she was beautiful and fantastic, but forever unattainable. I would have to settle for something less, but at this point I would settle for anything at all. Even if it was being her protector from the shadows.

_Awweee! 6:00! I've got to get up! _The thought coming from across the street startled me. I was scanning her face for the hundredth time, committing each feature to memory. I pulled my eyes away from her face to check Bella's alarm clock. She'd be getting up soon too. _Really _soon. I jumped up and back to the window, letting myself have one last look at her beautiful face before I would have to pretend none of this had happened.

I clearly can't stay away from her any longer. Maybe I was going about this in the wrong way? I thought by staying away from her, I could protect her. Maybe I could protect her better if I kept her close.

I made my way back to our house in an almost cheerful state. I think I'm in love with Bella, and considering she said _my _name in her sleep, I didn't have to read her mind, she obviously felt something for me. Even if it was intense anger. I frowned, something would have to be done about that. That and her un-chaperoned trip to Seattle a week from Saturday.

But her voice had been anything but angry when she said my name in the middle of the night.

Alice met me at the door of our house and pulled me into her tiny arms.

"Congratulations!" she squealed, and then pulled back _oh! You smell like human!_

"What?" I asked nervously and shot her a glance.

_On your revelation silly! _I had no idea what she meant, but was grateful that she neglected to say it aloud.

I gave her a confused look. The image of Bella sitting in the passenger seat of my Volvo jumped into my head again. _Don't worry, you've got better self control than you think you do._

_Have fun in Seattle! _She skipped out the door and towards the garage. Seattle? Then it dawned on me. I had somewhere along the line, without my knowledge, decided to take Bella to Seattle myself. Well, it did solve my problem of her going without a chaperone.

I changed quickly in the hopes of removing some of her scent from me before going into the garage.

The drive to Forks High School was… awkward. Alice kept smiling at me, Emmett and Rose just looked confused, and Jasper never took his eyes off of me. He finally broke the silence as we pulled into a space at the school.

"What's with all the excitement Edward?" he asked.

_Edward's in love!! _Alice's mind screamed at us.

"Nothing" I smiled coolly "New unit in Biology" He knew it was a lie, but didn't push it.

To my luck, Rosalie and Emmett had already disappeared, and Alice was pushing Jasper towards the building. She winked in my direction.

Bella was just pulling into a space across the lot from the Volvo. She had jumped out of the cab and had dropped her keys in the mud when I came around the corner and grabbed them.

"How do you _do_ that?" she looked up at me with the most beautiful angry eyes I'd ever seen.

"Do what?" I dropped her keys in her hand.

"Appear out of thin air." Oops. In my rush to grab her keys, I had neglected to act human.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." It was mean, and I kicked myself for it, but it wasn't a total lie. She started examining the ground very closely, and refused to look at me.

"Why the traffic jam last night? I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death." I couldn't help but laugh.

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine." Why would I make her wait in traffic if not for a good reason? "I had to give him his chance." And I wanted to see your glorious face.

"You..." a brilliant rose color filled her cheeks as she decided what to call me. I stepped in before she could get too creative.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist." Not anymore anyway, far from it.

"So you _are _trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's can didn't do the job?" After all that had happened, how could she still think that? I had to remind myself that she still seemed to be convinced that I wanted her dead.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd." I felt the cold saturate my voice. She stared at me a moment before turning her back on me and stomping off. Maybe I had been too harsh.

"Wait!" When she didn't stop, I jogged up to walk beside her and plead my case, forcing myself to keep at a miserably slow human pace. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm not saying it isn't true. But it was rude to say it anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" She grumbled at me. No chance of that. I jumped back to my original purpose. Halting her un-chaperoned trip to Seattle.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me,"

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?"

"You're doing it again." I accused.

She sighed and gave in.

"Fine then. What do you want to ask?" I cleared my throat

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday" Tyler, Eric and Newton had made this look hard. "you know, the day of the spring dance – " she cut me off with a severe look

"Are you trying to be _funny?" _Maybe they were on to something, but I couldn't help but smile both at the fact that she seemed to hate being approached by the opposite sex, and because she was getting really wet from the rain as she tried to stare me down.

"Will you please allow me to finish?" She looked angry, but didn't say anything, so I continued "I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride." Her expression suggested that she didn't understand my offer.

"What?" she stammered.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" she said skeptically.

"Myself, obviously." The idea of her in my car made me smile.

"Why?" she was stunned.

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it." It was a wonder it made it to school and back every day, actually.

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." She turned away again and started walking. Bella was determined to make this as hard as possible.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" Thank you, Charlie.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." She kept walking

"The wasting of finite resources of everyone's business." Even I had to admit, it was a pretty good line.

"Honestly, Edward. I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend." That was then, this was now.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be." I explained.

"Oh, thanks, now that's _all _cleared up." Her tone dripped with severe sarcasm, and I had to admit, it wasn't undeserved.

"It would be more…" I searched for the right word "_prudent_ for you not to be my friend, but I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella." At least it was the truth. She seemed to lose focus.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" I reminded her of my original inquiry. She nodded. I couldn't stop the smile from flashing across my features before I brought myself back.

"You really _should _stay away from me." I paused to let it sink in before adding. "I'll see you in class." I turned and headed back for the parking lot.


End file.
